Coming back home

It's been so long since I've even thought of this blog. Time to reclaim what's mine!

I lost my husband to a sudden arrthymia in 2019. I lost his mother (my mother-in-law, a force of nature type of woman who had been like a second mother to me) in 2021. Had my first relationship after losing my beloved husband with a man who dumped me after two years of sneaky sex. The last few years I've been sadder than ever (that includes the period in my early life where I lost my mother). How to shake the sadness with exercise? Can that even be done?

Menopause hit hard with some weight gain (I never had boobs this large before). I've been reading that cardio can cause cortisol spikes (leading to more weight gain) and that it's now strength training that is absolutely necessary.

I don't really love strength training the way I love walking and running, but I want to do more of it. I get bored lifting weights and feel intimidated by the gym bro types (male and female) I see at the gym. 

So I sneak in lifting in unusual ways--my trusty 20 pound dumbbells are by the television so I can always do some curls. lifts, and squats while I watch Food Network LOL.

Not gonna lie: when I get depressed over all I feel I've lost, I don't work out at all. I still walk a lot (because I do not drive). But I want to get back to feeling how I did when I ran more.

So I laced up today--got out for a 4 mile run/walk. The great thing about combining running and walking is that even if I've been lazy and not done anything, this method is kind to the body. I simply run for 30 seconds, walk for 30 seconds. Right now, it takes me a little under 55 minutes. Hoping that will improve as I get back in better shape.

I'm going to pick a race (a 5k) for fall and work toward finishing it well (gone are the days when 5Ks were 30 min races for me). I need something to look forward to. Just wish my beloved husband were still here to cheer me on and have a post-race meal with me!

Well, hello again

I haven't posted anything to my running blog for years. What's happened to me?

I lost my beloved husband, poet and editor Jon Tribble, in October 2019. He put up with my becoming a runner, took me to my races (I don't drive), and even took my finish line photos (though he wasn't a fan of runners spitting at the finish line!). He was sick in 2018 and 2019, so my energy went toward making him feel better.

I have been in a state of mourning for the past two years. Grief brain, the pandemic, teaching my classes over Zoom, missing him so fiercely I felt like I couldn't move.

But I did move. When the world went into lockdown and going to the gym was risking God knows what, I ran. I am so much slower these days that when I could do a half-marathon in 2 hours and change, but that doesn't matter. I ran through sorrow; I walked through grief.

Today is the 2 year anniversary of his memorial service. I thought I would be in a lot of pain, but I went for a run/walk for a hour and a half. 7 miles. The longest run in many years. I thought of him, and knew that I wanted to do races again, now that the world is re-opening. 

It may take me much longer to get my miles done, but in his name and in his memory, I will keep moving. It was a blessing to be his wife. It was (and is) hard to be his widow. It is a wonder to be alive in a time in human history when there's been so much loss. 

Next stop, ten miles. It may take me two hours, but those will be hours well-spent.

Getting Back to Racing!!!

This past weekend I was in Chicago--a favorite city of mine, with plenty of things to do, see, and eat!

It was also the weekend of the Chicago Marathon, which turned out to be one for the ages, with American runner Galen Rupp winning the men's race (first American man to win it all in fifteen years), and Jordan Hasay coming in third in the women's race (a new princess of American running is born--except she's been at it since she was 16).

Read about them here:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/ct-galen-rupp-becomes-first-american-to-win-chicago-marathon-since-2002--20171008-story.html

I was staying at the marvelous Palmer House Hotel, a grand old dame of a place, with an amazing foyer and vintage photos of celebrities on every floor.  And everywhere I turned, there were people in town for the Chicago Marathon.  I overheard one man, in his 60s, say this was going to be his *8th* full marathon since he entered his 60s--and that he hoped to finish 26.2 in 3:45. His wife, who after an accident, was now running with a plate in her leg, hoped to finish in 4. (note well: if I'm reading the website for the Chicago Marathon correctly, he finished in 4:04 and she finished in 4:20!)

I also have several Facebook friends who were running the race, and seeing their pictures made me want to race again.  I've shied away from racing since I've gotten older, fatter, and slower, content to run/walk to my heart's content. But I was clearly jealous of the fun and the swag of races, and realized I was missing something I used to enjoy.  I'm sad that I'm not capable of the same speed as I was in 2011 (opening up my page on Athlinks.com reminded me I used to be able to run between 9:30 and 10 min per mile in races).  But then I remembered that I used to use racing as a means to get the best out of myself as a runner--and I want to reach for the best within myself again.

So inspired by my fast Facebook friends Penny and Marlon, I've signed up for races in 2018--no marathons, but I'm going to run 7Ks and 10Ks in the spring, then find a really fun half-marathon to run in fall 2018. I'm going to do the Go! St. Louis Mississippi 7K in April 2018 and the Run for 21K in Clayton, Missouri in March 2018 (they have a 7K option).

So what if I'm no longer able to run a 9:30 mile (sob)--I can still have fun, and still get race swag. I miss race swag. And I miss pushing myself to better myself.

Links:
http://gostlouis.org/mississippi-7k-runwalk/
http://www.runfor21k.com/

Breakthrough or Comeback

It's been forever since I've posted to this blog!

Wanted to post to prove 1) I'm still running and 2) run-walk is the way to go!

I've been using variations on Jeff Galloway's run-walk system for quite some time now. Galloway's contention is that practically anyone can be a runner if he or she alternates running with walking. What I've struggled with is finding the right ratio.  The possibilities are endless, but today's six mile (!) run was at 1 min run, 1 min walk.

You'd think all that starting and stopping would be annoying, but the key is to keep the walk segments brisk.  If the walk is a stroll, you're going to want to keep on strolling, because nothing beats a good stroll. But if you keep the walk segments quick and crisp, as in "no one's beating me to the bargain table" crisp, it's far easier to start running again. 

For more information on the Jeff Galloway system, visit his website: http://www.jeffgalloway.com/

I may not be as fast as I once was, but run-walk will enable me to complete longer and longer distances, and maybe even get back to doing races!  I'm excited. 

Running Without Music

Recently, I've been running without music--no 80s nostalgia playlists, no EDM sessions, no new jack swing back to the 90s with TLC and Bobby Brown.

I'm a huge music lover, so I kind of miss hearing music when I run.  But it was getting to the point where picking the playlist, ordering the tunes, getting the headphones on (how you earbud people keep them in??), and all that jazz (see what I did there) was getting to be a true bother.

When I first started running, I didn't use music at all. Then I discovered Motion Traxx and Podrunner, podcasts specifically designed to help with running.  Then, I fell down a rabbit hole of downloads, mixtapes, dj cuts, and podcasts. I learned about music genres that I hadn't followed much before (EDM, House, electro swing) and trotted many miles to other people's beats.

I may return soon to running again with music, but it's a relief to know that I can get out there and run without having to have music.  Without the distraction of music, I'm much more aware of my surroundings--which often include animals, cars, cyclists, dogwalkers, etc.  I think about all sorts of things when I'm out running, and often, random songs will pop into my mind anyway.  My brain is a treasure trove of pop music from several decades, so I never know what will pop into my head--the B52s, Motion City Soundtrack, Jeffrey Osbourne--who knows?

Mostly, I listen to the rhythm of my own footsteps, the sound of my own breath. I have been using the 10:1 walk ratio promoted by Running Room stores (http://runningroom.com/hm/) and finding it just the thing I needed to get back to runs of five miles or more. I'm not thinking about racing right now, but am enjoying running longer without stopping.

Here's more information on the 10:1 walk ratio:
http://www.runningroom.com/hm/inside.php?lang=1&id=2582

Whether you choose music or silence or the chatter of a running partner, enjoy the ride!

On fitness splainin, or why I won't give fitness advice

What, you may ask, is "fitness splainin?"

That's when someone, presumably knowledgeable about health, fitness, working out, etc, tells YOU what you should do with YOUR body.  Comments like:

"You need a low-carb diet to lose weight."
"All that running is going to destroy your knees."
"Steady-state cardio is terrible for weight loss. You need to do HIIT."
"You need to stretch before you run."
"Spin classes make you fat."

Oy and vey.  So much advice. So many advice givers. So many assumptions that what will work for one person will work for another.  Social media makes it easy for everyone to be an instant personal trainer, health guru, or fitness expert.

I read a lot of fitness/running magazines. Part of the reason for that is that I'm a writer, and I'm always interested in writing on topics that obssess me.  When I was into beads, I subscribed to beading magazines (and there are plenty of those). So I read Runner's World, Running Times, Health, Women's Health, Women's Running, Self and read articles online from Competitor.com. Armed with the information I glean from these sources, am I any kind of expert? Hells to the no.

I make it a practice to not give fitness advice.  I love to share/compare experiences with other runners, which I do regularly on dailymile.com and in several running-related Facebook groups.  But I hesitate to offer advice on what someone should do with their fitness time.  And I have no idea how to resolve anyone's fitness injuries!

I personally like to run, to ride bikes (indoors and outdoors), to walk, to dance (on my own, not in a class), and to use ellipticals (the zone out factor is high on that machine).  I have mad respect for those who do a lot of lifting/weight training, but I admit I've not found a way to embrace it (maybe I'm just too antsy). But  I don't tell people who base their fitness routines on lifting that they need to run.

If someone asks me what my personal fitness preferences are, I'm happy to tell them.  But I have to resist the evangelical urge that comes with running. I mean, it helped me lose 50 pounds and get off blood pressure meds--it must be great for everyone!  I got to tamp that down.

If someone asks me how to become a runner, I can only tell them how I became one, which may or may not work for him or her.  Usually I point people toward Couch-to-5K programs, though I never did one myself.

When it comes to fitness, there is a huge morass of contradictory advice out there. My plan, as a person who wants to outlive her parents (who both died too young), is to take in everything I read, see, and hear with an open mind and a questioning brain. So far it's working well.

Fitness Goals and Hopes for 2015

2014 was supposed to rock.  It was going to be the year I made 10 mile runs my bitch, the year when I got my half-marathon PR, and maybe even thought full marathon. I was going to rule!

It didn't work out that way. 2014 was the year of mourning. So many losses, punctuated most sharply by the loss of my vivid and beautiful father-in-law, Daddy T. Running became a way to deal with grief, to distract myself from all the unhappiness and sorrow. Working out made me breathe when tears wanted to short-circuit my breath.  I still ran, but it was with a heavy heart. I didn't do any races. Or long runs. I wanted running to help me, and it did, but my endurance was no longer as profound as it had been.  Still, I ran.

So with the new year coming up, I've altered my fitness goals/wishes:

1) To maintain my weight in the 135 to 138 range, but not to flip out if it's not. This weight range makes it easier to run--I don't care about clothing size. Clothing sizes are a bunch of lies anyway. 

2) To run with a joyful spirit, not taking for granted the fact that I can run. My beloved Daddy T. had Parkinson's, so to see him go from someone who walked at a quick and steady clip to someone who could barely move was heartbreaking. I'm not going to take the gift of movement for granted.

3) To stretch and weight train, even though they aren't my favorite ways to exercise. I have neglected these areas, but if I want to run when I'm 70 (and I do), I need stretching and weight training. Thank goodness for planks (because I hate crunches) and dynamic stretches (because I am so antsy).

4) To get "everyday exercise"--running/walking stairs, going for walks after meals, dancing with my headphones on, etc. Formal workouts are great, but sometimes a gal just needs to move!

5) To admire the fitness achievments of others, to be a fitness cheerleader, but not to pressure myself to match or surpass such achievements. People think there's only one way to be a runner, since mostly, in popular culture, runners are marathoners. It's great to run marathons, don't get me wrong. But I like middle distances (five miles through half-marathons). I reject the notion that I'm not a runner if I don't run marathons. But I do love cheering on all sorts of runners. 

6) To cross train: bike, elliptical, row--whatever strikes my fancy!

7) To love my body and thank it often for what it permits me to do. I spent a lot of time this year in the land of body blame. That's a neighborhood not worth visiting. 

So I declare 2015 the year of body acceptance. No more body blaming, scale worship, food lustings, make up exercise, or clothes worries. Essays and poems about the above: yes.